Seeing your child hurting can be one of the most upsetting things to experience as a parent or carer. Alongside that, the feelings of helplessness that can come up for you as the adult can lead to a stressful situation for everyone in the family. Then, once you decide to take the plunge and contact a Counsellor there is often the fear of 'what if it is something I have done' and 'what will the Counsellor think of me and my parenting'.
Working with children and young people is an absolute passion of mine and I love getting to know the children I work with, finding out about their interests and passions and learning to play their favourite games (often getting unceremoniously beaten!).
Parents and carers are part of the equation and, prior to your child's first session, I will meet with you to find out a bit more about them, what is bringing them to counselling and what their interests are, to make sure I have things they like easily available in the first sessions. I will also talk to you about your experiences as a parent. Parenting is hard work and the cliché that there is no manual is very true. People often present as fine and having a wonderful time to the outside world when the reality can be very different and this can feel very isolating to parents who are seeing their child distressed, many times fearing that people are judging them on their ability to be a parent. My work is non-judgemental and will be a confidential space for you to talk to me about what is going on and any worries or fears you may have.
I will work with your child, first of all to show them that I am an adult that they can trust, then working to fully establish and build that trusting relationship with them. If there is no relationship, there will be no therapy. The work is child-led and informed by research. I take my training and development very seriously and do regular CPD to make sure my work is current and the best I can offer your child. I am currently undergoing further specialist training in counselling children and young people to ensure the best care for your child. I have a full, enhanced DBS.
You can contact me for a free 15 minute consultation to see how I can help your child and support you.
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Counselling in this age group is primarily play-based and creative and is led by the child. The therapy happens within the play and is a 'safe' way in which to conduct therapy because things happen within a metaphor. For any age group (adults included) metaphor can be an extremely powerful way of dealing with something that may otherwise be too upsetting or triggering to work with face-on. So if your child comes out of a session and tells you they had a great time playing trains today, fear not, there will have been therapy going on and you haven't just paid for the most expensive playdate!
At this age, there will be an offer of play and creativity at an age-appropriate level eg art, card games, but if the individual wants to sit and talk that is fine too. As the weeks go on, preferences may change and that is fine too.
The human brain doesn't fully develop until around age 25 so when parents are pulling their hair out and rolling their eyes at the antics of their developing young adults, the reason behind the behaviour may actually be because, although they are looking more mature and adult-like, their brains are still developing so they are not making decisions in the way we would as adults. Risk is a common theme from mid-secondary age onwards and often helping the individual understand how their brain is developing can help with behaviour and with family relationships.
At this age, most clients prefer the traditional image of sitting and talking to a Counsellor. As with any age of client I work with, there will be creative tools to work with and the individual is free to choose whether to work with them or not
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